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[kickem]

Ray. Leave a message.

[Texts, calls (for 90s canon and modern day) and pictures and videos (for modern day)]

Comments

tfln

[bluntobject]

[ You have reached Constable Benton Fraser's mobile telephone. Please leave your message. ]

[kickem]

i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?

[bluntobject]

Oh yeah? It really depends, do I get a say in the toppings?

[kickem]

only if it involves pineapple

[bluntobject]

That's disgusting, it's a pizza not a fruit salad.

[kickem]

don't hear you usually complainin

[bluntobject]

My mind was on other things. You know the things.

[visitation]

i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days

[kickem]

hoooow are you still alive?

[visitation]

I don't know, but if I find out I should tell my doctor because it baffles him too.
Personally I think I have the digestive system of a seven year old, although in my case a seven year old who drinks a lot of Guinness.

[kickem]

had any skittles vodka?

[visitation]

One color for every weekday. Of course it helps to not be sober when you're sorting them.
The real problem is Saturday night.

[kickem]

mix it all at the weekend

[siniquity]

Hey snatchguzzler where is my fucking phone?

[kickem]

where you left it dicklicker

[siniquity]

Haha funny. You think of that one all on your own?
I use that phone for work, and yours is like from the 50s or something wtf

[kickem]

yeah i did
guess you should take better care of it if its for work. i mean itd suck if you lost it
oh wait

[siniquity]

Oh yeah, that's how you want to do this?
You got chicks numbers on this phone or what

[kickem]

nope none at all

[hairlocked]

[ That awkward moment where for no reason your car radio suddenly rings like your mobile phone. Which is not ringing. But answer it anyway see what good it does you. ]

[kickem]

[That awkward moment when your phone isn't ringing but you still grapple for it anyway. And then realise. And can't work out why the radio is ringing, but try and answer both anyway... ?!... with a totally awkward:]

Uh?

[hairlocked]

Hello? Hello? Oh, there you are. It's Ray, isn't it?

[ Guess who's been listening to all his phone calls? =DDD ]

[kickem]

[Wow, rude.

Ray doesn't recognise the voice as anyone he should know. Except he kind of does recognise it too.]

Uh. Detective Vecchio, yeah. Who's this?

[hairlocked]

Detective Vecchio, yes. At least that's who you say you are. How's that working for you?

[ A pause. You can almost hear the fidget. ]

You can call me Leoben.

[kickem]

[He's still not sure whether he should be talking to his phone or his radio so he's doing an awkward mixture of both, wisely deciding to pull over. Good thing too, because he really doesn't like the sound of this conversation already.]

Sure, it's workin' just fine. How's uh, how's bein' a shady scumbag workin' for you?

[Prickly defensive already.]