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[kickem]

Ray. Leave a message.

[Texts, calls (for 90s canon and modern day) and pictures and videos (for modern day)]

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[hairlocked]

[ He isn't going to die in an rta after 150000 years okay, it's just not possible. Ray's going to drive nice and safe isn't he? Yup.

He grins up at Ray as he looks over. Nailed it. ]

I know everything there is to know about you, Ray. God is all knowing, and I listen--I listen to God's words.

[ Listening to the police radio and hacked phonecalls is totally hearing God y/y? ]

[kickem]

[Ray's just narrowing his eyes in return, sharing his attention between Leo and the road.]

Yeah? So why now? If you knew all that stuff, why not just creep into my place and... and do whatever you're here to do?

[If it was murder, the guy would have probably done it by now. But it's still a possibility. Maybe this is how invasions start; guys killing you off and wearing your face.]

[hairlocked]

[ Could be. This could be how it all starts. Creepy right? ]

The time wasn't right.

[ And his eyes are straight ahead, his attention very focused, his eyes on the distant horizon, almost as though he's a different person, just for a moment. A very serious, very rigid person. ]

This is your turning.

[kickem]

[Very creepy. Creepy as the guy staring off into the distance, predicting your turning.

Ray almost considers not taking it, but he yanks at the wheel at the last second, easily throwing the car around the corner.]

Okay. Okay, so say you are some uh, some old dude who's seen a lot of shit. Why the face? And the rest of you too, I guess.

[hairlocked]

[ Okay so Ray isn't very good at driving, and Leo hits the inside window very hard, and claws his way back upward, squinting sidewards at Ray, rubbing at his poor dented forehead. ]

Your face is my face, not the other way around. Look how new you are. New and shiny.

[ He stops kneading his temple and reaches across to pinch Ray's cheek. ]

My genetics are your genetics.

[kickem]

[The thump is pretty damn satisfying, which would be why Ray's smirking to himself.]

So you're-- hey!-- [Leaning away from that hand.]

So you're like a super old clone? You look kinda young to be a relative.

[hairlocked]

[ Hey he needs to get him back for that deliberate thumping against the inside window, and that's not a very nice thing to do with your progenitor. He pulls his hand back, but stays studying Ray intently. ]

I am a relative. A long, long, long lost relative.

[ He tilts his head. ]

You won't believe the truth.

[kickem]

Yeah, you keep sayin' I won't believe it, but right now I got a guy who looks just like me, knows everythin' about me and claims to be some weirdo angel of God. I'm kinda open to suggestions.

[Attention drifting more to Leoben, less on the road. It's all good, he's driven this route a million times before, he knows where he's going so long as no one steps out in front.]

[hairlocked]

You asked for it.

[ He doesn't seem to be remotely unsettled by Ray's looking at him more than the road. He looks right back at him, narrows his eyes. ]

A hundred and fifty thousand years ago, humans came to Earth on ships; the last of their kind, fleeing the utter destruction of their world. We - the last of the Cylons - settled with them--well some of us did. After the war there weren't many of us left. I was one of the few. We interbred with the local population, with what was left of humanity.

[ Skip a bit. ]

And here you are.

[kickem]

[More staring. So much so that he's suddenly having to press the brakes when he realises he's coming far too close to the car in front.]

Ships?

[Blinkblink and then a sudden finger jab towards Leo as one hand comes off the wheel.]

Hey! You're one of them space crazies, right? The things, the uh, the Scientologists!

[hairlocked]

[ Oh it's really lucky he was ready for that, because the sudden braking could have killed him. When they slow down, he pulls the seatbelt across him resignedly and jams it into the locking mechanism. ]

No, that's the wrong science fiction. Think uh--think Battlestar Galactica. That was us. They got some of the details wrong. Like Starbuck. Heh.

[ He leans across as far as the seatbelt will let him. ]

I'm a robot.

[kickem]

[Ray's not up on his science fiction enough to know much about all of this, but he appears thoughtful as he slowly pulls the car towards the apartment parking.]

A robot? Yeah, sure you are.

[Head tilted away just slightly at the lean in.]

[hairlocked]

[ Well! An extremely sophisticated squishy robot. Give him a break. He backs off from the lean in and looks out the passenger side window, humming to himself as they pull into the synthetically lit darkness of the parking garage. ]

I did say you wouldn't believe me.

[ So matter of fact. ]

[kickem]

You sure don't look like a robot.

[More side eyeing while he finds his space and pulls in without barely having to look. He climbs out the car almost immediately, more than happy not to be stuck in a confined space with this crazy guy, but he still lingers at the door, leaning on the roof.]

And if you are a robot, how did you uh, 'interbreed'-- [One handed finger quotes.]-- with humanity? See, it's bullshit.

[hairlocked]

[ Leoben takes a little more care getting out of the car, at least with the car. He looks a bit scruffy, to tell the truth, the top button of his printed shirt undone, his left sleeve open--these effects he doesn't correct. But he looks over the top of the car at Ray. ]

Who are you to say what a robot looks like, or what it can do? We were built to be as human as possible, and that includes sex, and procreation, which are not necessarily always the same thing.

[ He grins. It's sparkling. ]

But it's okay, you're still very special. More than you know.

[kickem]

Yeah, well...

[Whatever! Not even going to get into an argument about robot sex and robot dicks. Just going to turn away and start walking. He can assume Leoben will be following, if not leading eventually.]

It's my mom's job to tell me I'm special, not some Scientologist robot freak.

[hairlocked]

[ Such a scathing reply. He's hurt!

Yeah no not really.

But Leoben does hurry to catch up, falling into step just behind Ray, which is easy because their legs are the same length and everything. Spooky. But he hovers close and sticks to following, because Ray is actually taking him home because he always adopts needy robots with puppy dog eyes, and he's going to be a good little Cylon just because he's getting exactly what he wanted. ]

Well your mother is very special too, to have you as a son. I'd very much like to meet her.

[kickem]

No!

[And here's Ray spinning around sharply to jab a finger towards Leoben, snarling out in an attempt at some sort of threat. Bad puppy.]

No, you don't. You stay away from my family. And you stay away from my buddy too, 'the pretty one'.

[hairlocked]

[ Ray spins around so fast, and Leoben is already so close, that he almost walks right into him, and gets the finger right in the middle of his chest, having to lean back away from him and it, startled.

Bad puppy indeed. ]

But I...

[ He stares for a few seconds, then resolutely drops his eyes to the left, head following. Sulking. ]

I was looking forward to it.

[kickem]

[Well, there's no aggression in return. Not even threats or creepy smiles. That's... vaguely reassuring. Still doesn't mean this guy isn't a psycho intent on finding and murdering everything Ray loves.

Although it does sound like he's already found most of it.]

I don't care if you're an evil robot sent to destroy humanity, my fricken clone, or my great grandfather from centuries ago, you still aren't seein' 'em.

[So there. A huff, another jab of his finger and then he's slowly turning back around.]

[hairlocked]

[ There's nothing very aggressive about the narrowing of his eyes, but he does narrow them at the back of Ray's head as he turns away. ]

Always with the evil robots destroying humanity. [ Folding his arms around his chest. ] It's like blaming a dog for eating food off the table. It's only doing what it was taught to do.

[ And scuffing his foot petulantly, as he falls into step again, this time with a little more space between himself and Ray so that he doesn't get poked again. ]

[kickem]

[What a sulky robot. Is Ray really this bad when he's pouty?]

Pretty sure humans won't be teaching robots to destroy humanity, so that's a dumb argument.

[Elevator get!]

[hairlocked]

Humans destroy humanity every day. Look around you; genocide and murder are the human condition. It's been that way for so long you couldn't change it even if you tried, it's hard-wired into your genetics.

[ He steps into the elevator with Ray, reaching across to press the button for his floor. ]

Children learn by imitating their parents.

[kickem]

Not all humans. You get the good and the bad. Some of us are tryin' to stop the scumbags from doin' that sorta thing.

[Before he can lean for the button, the other is in there, and that's kinda creepy seeing a stranger find your floor without question.]

Even if you wiped it out and started again, there's still gonna be scumbags, same with anythin'. There's good dogs and bad dogs. Good cats and bad cats. Good humans and bad humans.

[hairlocked]

You don't need to convince me. I know. I learned. Not all humans.

[ Ray's floor isn't many up, so there's only a moment where they're trapped in a confined space together, and then the door opens again and it's amazing because neither of them are dead, imagine that.

He puts his hand on Ray's shoulder. ]

I knew I could rely on you to try and trust me.

[ Not what you want to hear from a man before you accept him into your home... ]