IC contact | Multi verse | ota

[kickem]

Ray. Leave a message.

[Texts, calls (for 90s canon and modern day) and pictures and videos (for modern day)]

Comments

[visitation]

My old lady slept with my gay best friend and director. I saw her across the stage and forgot all my lines. It all went sort of downhill from there.
Now if I so much as crash a party and start a swordfight I end up seeing the shrink.

[kickem]

she slept wit ur gay best friend? isnt he gay?

[visitation]

Right? He did it to get back at me.
Actually come to think of it I'm not sure what that means.

[kickem]

i woudnt call that guy a best friend. that is teh oppopsite of buddies

[visitation]

Yeah well after that we didn't talk. Then I got arrested for chaining myself to a theater, and he called me up to tell me I was an asshole, or something.
Never did find out what, since he took a nap in the road and got hit by a pig truck.

[kickem]

so he called you and tehn died? that is like some prophetic shit

[visitation]

Funny I would just call it a really good cautionary tale regarding the dangers of becoming an old alcoholic.

[kickem]

well that to but i mean thats some coinkydink huh

[visitation]

I guess. It's also creepy. Then they sort of gave me his job.
Man, you'd have loved his funeral, I get tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

[kickem]

wat was so great about it?

[visitation]

Well first, it was on stage. Lights, curtains, scenery, a whole bunch of people who didn't really know him talking about him when all they were really doing was having a big group wank. And then we had this great minister, the only one who would do a funeral on stage, came on and told us how homosexuality was a sin and broke into a roaring tirade about how actors were the worst degenerates. It was fantastic. Rains of fire and brimstone!!! Brilliant. I'll remember it fondly until the day I die.

[kickem]

oh
well i guess we al hope for a memorbale funeral huh? they rly get an homophobc anti actor minister for a gay actors funral? that seems like a p big fuck up

[visitation]

It was. A magnificent fuck up. I want the same guy at mine.
They had to pull the fire alarm.

[kickem]

you ike a good car crash huh?

[visitation]

Oh yes. When there's nobody hurt by it absolutely yes. Of course these things do come back around.

[kickem]

your life kinda sounds like a car crash dude

[visitation]

I thank you. I don't know, maybe moving to the Arctic circle with a hot Mountie would be a good move for me.

[kickem]

mebe. you gotta come down to chicago first ok. i need to make sure ur suitable

[visitation]

Make sure I'm suitable. Oh, I see. You make it sound now like it'd be a sure thing that he's into me.

[kickem]

haha nah 99% sure hes just gonna be polite and avoid teh flrting but i still gotta make sure ur not a creep or anythng

[visitation]

Well that's definitely buddies, but still, if you don't think I can crack your Mountie in five seconds flat you're misunderstanding the sheer sexual magnetism of Shakespeare. And me.

[kickem]

buy you a beer if you succeed man

[visitation]

Buy me a beer if I don't. If I'm successful I've got your Mountie, you'll have to find something else to do with your evening, you'll need all the beer you can get.

[kickem]

yeh whaytever we'll see when you get here

[visitation]

You want your Mountie distracted because he keeps blowing it for you and your ex, huh?