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[kickem]

Ray. Leave a message.

[Texts, calls (for 90s canon and modern day) and pictures and videos (for modern day)]

Comments

[kickem]

your cryin on stage? i guess that is a boner kil

[visitation]

Yeah, well it puts paid to the idea of getting a boner that way, anyway.
So you see, I couldn't debase your Mountie if I wanted to.

[kickem]

so its like stress r somethng thats gettin you?

[visitation]

I don't know, Ray, does stress make your dick shrivel? And does it make you want to cry in front of strangers?

[kickem]

idk i guess sometiems i get perfomanc anxiety yknow
not so sure bout the cryin

[visitation]

Oh come on, a virile young thing like you? Performance anxiety? Whatever for?

[kickem]

sometimes i get nevres ok

[visitation]

In bed?
You know if the kinky stuff freaks you out that much you really should stick with what you know. Can't go wrong there.

[kickem]

look i been wit teh same girl since i was a kid. soemtimes you forget wat its like with others

[visitation]

Oh wow. Wow, that is a lot of pressure. No, I totally understand that, man.

[kickem]

yeh see. its like fave chinese place closin down and its like shit all othr chinese just seems weird after that
or when ur with anothr chick and shes like 'how do you like it bb?' and ur just like 'idk but i no how my wife used to liek it??'

[visitation]

That's sort of beautiful, Ray. What went wrong with you two?

[kickem]

idk. just life i guess. ask her
whyd the old lady kick you out?

[visitation]

Aforementioned boner of contention. Also I don't approve of her friends. And uh, I'm putting my vanity above her career. So all the usual things, and probably none of them.
You know, you try and understand the fairer sex through Shakespeare and you're doomed to fail. Although he did have one thing right: it's easier if you pretend they're all just men in women's clothes. And sometimes men in women's clothes in men's clothes, I don't know.

[kickem]

always reassurin to no that a lady is willng to stand by you no matter wat. even if ur dick is failin

[visitation]

My feelings exactly. I mean, I love her. I mean I am literally crazy for her, and I hadn't so much as touched another woman for eight years, you'd think that would translate to at least a little concern.
Or maybe she doesn't want me now I'm a broken man.

[kickem]

wow you srsly not been with anyone else in 8 years? thats dedication
i guess she aint so happy about the limp dick?

[visitation]

Well I spent some of it at the funny farm, I guess you could call that dedication.
And no not really. I think it's something else, you know how women are. They say "No" they actually mean "Maybe if you didn't ask me when I just fell in a lake and had to hike eleven kilometers to find civilization."

[kickem]

oh i guess so mayb. still pretty shitty. i mean you hold off for them for years yknow and then theyre out fuckin politicians while ur hand is teh best budy you get

[visitation]

Fucking politicians? Wow. That's awful. I can't imagine anything worse.
At least mine just fucked all the young actors, bartenders and pizza delivery boys she could find.

[kickem]

yeh well mine does all that lawyer stuff. i guess she meets a lotta scumbags. politician scumbags

[visitation]

That's really... Wow, man. Well at least she's not fucking another cop?

[kickem]

yeh. sure
whatever
at least theres that huh

[visitation]

She's fucking a cop?

[kickem]

yeh
the cop i was covering for for years