[ He folds both of his own hands into his lap, taking the chastising with complete patience. Which is much the same way as he takes the comments about the hospital and the police station. It all sounds perfectly fair, yup.
He's still waiting for Ray to start the car, looking bright and eager. ]
You were going somewhere before you stopped at the church. Not the station, or the hospital. Take me where you were going.
[Better. It's like having an excited kid in the car, where you won't even start the engine until they're settled. Which would be now. Engine start!]
I was just gonna stop off at home, and then uh, check in on a few things, and maybe head to the uh, the Consulate. Y'know, boring stuff. You won't wanna come.
[Looking in his rear-view before pulling out, attention still flicking back to Leo.]
Lemmie drop you off at your place. Where you from?
[ Ray may be a detective, a police officer, but Leoben doesn't put his seatbelt on as they pull away. In fact he tempts fate by folding his arms on the dashboard and dropping his chin on them. He stares out ahead at the road. ]
I've never been to the Canadian Consulate. That's where your friend works, isn't it? The pretty one.
[Ray's just narrowing his eyes in return, sharing his attention between Leo and the road.]
Yeah? So why now? If you knew all that stuff, why not just creep into my place and... and do whatever you're here to do?
[If it was murder, the guy would have probably done it by now. But it's still a possibility. Maybe this is how invasions start; guys killing you off and wearing your face.]
[ Could be. This could be how it all starts. Creepy right? ]
The time wasn't right.
[ And his eyes are straight ahead, his attention very focused, his eyes on the distant horizon, almost as though he's a different person, just for a moment. A very serious, very rigid person. ]
[ Okay so Ray isn't very good at driving, and Leo hits the inside window very hard, and claws his way back upward, squinting sidewards at Ray, rubbing at his poor dented forehead. ]
Your face is my face, not the other way around. Look how new you are. New and shiny.
[ He stops kneading his temple and reaches across to pinch Ray's cheek. ]
[ Hey he needs to get him back for that deliberate thumping against the inside window, and that's not a very nice thing to do with your progenitor. He pulls his hand back, but stays studying Ray intently. ]
I am a relative. A long, long, long lost relative.
Yeah, you keep sayin' I won't believe it, but right now I got a guy who looks just like me, knows everythin' about me and claims to be some weirdo angel of God. I'm kinda open to suggestions.
[Attention drifting more to Leoben, less on the road. It's all good, he's driven this route a million times before, he knows where he's going so long as no one steps out in front.]
[ He doesn't seem to be remotely unsettled by Ray's looking at him more than the road. He looks right back at him, narrows his eyes. ]
A hundred and fifty thousand years ago, humans came to Earth on ships; the last of their kind, fleeing the utter destruction of their world. We - the last of the Cylons - settled with them--well some of us did. After the war there weren't many of us left. I was one of the few. We interbred with the local population, with what was left of humanity.
[ Oh it's really lucky he was ready for that, because the sudden braking could have killed him. When they slow down, he pulls the seatbelt across him resignedly and jams it into the locking mechanism. ]
No, that's the wrong science fiction. Think uh--think Battlestar Galactica. That was us. They got some of the details wrong. Like Starbuck. Heh.
[ He leans across as far as the seatbelt will let him. ]
[Ray's not up on his science fiction enough to know much about all of this, but he appears thoughtful as he slowly pulls the car towards the apartment parking.]
[ Well! An extremely sophisticated squishy robot. Give him a break. He backs off from the lean in and looks out the passenger side window, humming to himself as they pull into the synthetically lit darkness of the parking garage. ]
[More side eyeing while he finds his space and pulls in without barely having to look. He climbs out the car almost immediately, more than happy not to be stuck in a confined space with this crazy guy, but he still lingers at the door, leaning on the roof.]
And if you are a robot, how did you uh, 'interbreed'-- [One handed finger quotes.]-- with humanity? See, it's bullshit.
[ Leoben takes a little more care getting out of the car, at least with the car. He looks a bit scruffy, to tell the truth, the top button of his printed shirt undone, his left sleeve open--these effects he doesn't correct. But he looks over the top of the car at Ray. ]
Who are you to say what a robot looks like, or what it can do? We were built to be as human as possible, and that includes sex, and procreation, which are not necessarily always the same thing.
[ He grins. It's sparkling. ]
But it's okay, you're still very special. More than you know.
[Whatever! Not even going to get into an argument about robot sex and robot dicks. Just going to turn away and start walking. He can assume Leoben will be following, if not leading eventually.]
It's my mom's job to tell me I'm special, not some Scientologist robot freak.
But Leoben does hurry to catch up, falling into step just behind Ray, which is easy because their legs are the same length and everything. Spooky. But he hovers close and sticks to following, because Ray is actually taking him home because he always adopts needy robots with puppy dog eyes, and he's going to be a good little Cylon just because he's getting exactly what he wanted. ]
Well your mother is very special too, to have you as a son. I'd very much like to meet her.
[ Ray spins around so fast, and Leoben is already so close, that he almost walks right into him, and gets the finger right in the middle of his chest, having to lean back away from him and it, startled.
Bad puppy indeed. ]
But I...
[ He stares for a few seconds, then resolutely drops his eyes to the left, head following. Sulking. ]
[Well, there's no aggression in return. Not even threats or creepy smiles. That's... vaguely reassuring. Still doesn't mean this guy isn't a psycho intent on finding and murdering everything Ray loves.
Although it does sound like he's already found most of it.]
I don't care if you're an evil robot sent to destroy humanity, my fricken clone, or my great grandfather from centuries ago, you still aren't seein' 'em.
[So there. A huff, another jab of his finger and then he's slowly turning back around.]
[ There's nothing very aggressive about the narrowing of his eyes, but he does narrow them at the back of Ray's head as he turns away. ]
Always with the evil robots destroying humanity. [ Folding his arms around his chest. ] It's like blaming a dog for eating food off the table. It's only doing what it was taught to do.
[ And scuffing his foot petulantly, as he falls into step again, this time with a little more space between himself and Ray so that he doesn't get poked again. ]
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He's still waiting for Ray to start the car, looking bright and eager. ]
You were going somewhere before you stopped at the church. Not the station, or the hospital. Take me where you were going.
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I was just gonna stop off at home, and then uh, check in on a few things, and maybe head to the uh, the Consulate. Y'know, boring stuff. You won't wanna come.
[Looking in his rear-view before pulling out, attention still flicking back to Leo.]
Lemmie drop you off at your place. Where you from?
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[ Ray may be a detective, a police officer, but Leoben doesn't put his seatbelt on as they pull away. In fact he tempts fate by folding his arms on the dashboard and dropping his chin on them. He stares out ahead at the road. ]
I've never been to the Canadian Consulate. That's where your friend works, isn't it? The pretty one.
I want to come with you. Show me where you live.
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Nah. I don't want a freakshow knowing where I live. Unless you already know that too, huh?
[Suspicious side glance.]
How do you know all this stuff?
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He grins up at Ray as he looks over. Nailed it. ]
I know everything there is to know about you, Ray. God is all knowing, and I listen--I listen to God's words.
[ Listening to the police radio and hacked phonecalls is totally hearing God y/y? ]
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Yeah? So why now? If you knew all that stuff, why not just creep into my place and... and do whatever you're here to do?
[If it was murder, the guy would have probably done it by now. But it's still a possibility. Maybe this is how invasions start; guys killing you off and wearing your face.]
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The time wasn't right.
[ And his eyes are straight ahead, his attention very focused, his eyes on the distant horizon, almost as though he's a different person, just for a moment. A very serious, very rigid person. ]
This is your turning.
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Ray almost considers not taking it, but he yanks at the wheel at the last second, easily throwing the car around the corner.]
Okay. Okay, so say you are some uh, some old dude who's seen a lot of shit. Why the face? And the rest of you too, I guess.
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Your face is my face, not the other way around. Look how new you are. New and shiny.
[ He stops kneading his temple and reaches across to pinch Ray's cheek. ]
My genetics are your genetics.
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So you're-- hey!-- [Leaning away from that hand.]
So you're like a super old clone? You look kinda young to be a relative.
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I am a relative. A long, long, long lost relative.
[ He tilts his head. ]
You won't believe the truth.
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[Attention drifting more to Leoben, less on the road. It's all good, he's driven this route a million times before, he knows where he's going so long as no one steps out in front.]
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[ He doesn't seem to be remotely unsettled by Ray's looking at him more than the road. He looks right back at him, narrows his eyes. ]
A hundred and fifty thousand years ago, humans came to Earth on ships; the last of their kind, fleeing the utter destruction of their world. We - the last of the Cylons - settled with them--well some of us did. After the war there weren't many of us left. I was one of the few. We interbred with the local population, with what was left of humanity.
[ Skip a bit. ]
And here you are.
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Ships?
[Blinkblink and then a sudden finger jab towards Leo as one hand comes off the wheel.]
Hey! You're one of them space crazies, right? The things, the uh, the Scientologists!
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No, that's the wrong science fiction. Think uh--think Battlestar Galactica. That was us. They got some of the details wrong. Like Starbuck. Heh.
[ He leans across as far as the seatbelt will let him. ]
I'm a robot.
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A robot? Yeah, sure you are.
[Head tilted away just slightly at the lean in.]
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I did say you wouldn't believe me.
[ So matter of fact. ]
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[More side eyeing while he finds his space and pulls in without barely having to look. He climbs out the car almost immediately, more than happy not to be stuck in a confined space with this crazy guy, but he still lingers at the door, leaning on the roof.]
And if you are a robot, how did you uh, 'interbreed'-- [One handed finger quotes.]-- with humanity? See, it's bullshit.
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Who are you to say what a robot looks like, or what it can do? We were built to be as human as possible, and that includes sex, and procreation, which are not necessarily always the same thing.
[ He grins. It's sparkling. ]
But it's okay, you're still very special. More than you know.
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[Whatever! Not even going to get into an argument about robot sex and robot dicks. Just going to turn away and start walking. He can assume Leoben will be following, if not leading eventually.]
It's my mom's job to tell me I'm special, not some Scientologist robot freak.
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Yeah no not really.
But Leoben does hurry to catch up, falling into step just behind Ray, which is easy because their legs are the same length and everything. Spooky. But he hovers close and sticks to following, because Ray is actually taking him home
because he always adopts needy robots with puppy dog eyes, and he's going to be a good little Cylon just because he's getting exactly what he wanted. ]Well your mother is very special too, to have you as a son. I'd very much like to meet her.
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[And here's Ray spinning around sharply to jab a finger towards Leoben, snarling out in an attempt at some sort of threat. Bad puppy.]
No, you don't. You stay away from my family. And you stay away from my buddy too, 'the pretty one'.
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Bad puppy indeed. ]
But I...
[ He stares for a few seconds, then resolutely drops his eyes to the left, head following. Sulking. ]
I was looking forward to it.
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Although it does sound like he's already found most of it.]
I don't care if you're an evil robot sent to destroy humanity, my fricken clone, or my great grandfather from centuries ago, you still aren't seein' 'em.
[So there. A huff, another jab of his finger and then he's slowly turning back around.]
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Always with the evil robots destroying humanity. [ Folding his arms around his chest. ] It's like blaming a dog for eating food off the table. It's only doing what it was taught to do.
[ And scuffing his foot petulantly, as he falls into step again, this time with a little more space between himself and Ray so that he doesn't get poked again. ]
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