[ No, there's no escape. Leoben makes a little jump forward and lands sitting across Ray's lap like a child appealing to Santa for pressies. He links his arms around his neck, cheerful, and smiles. ]

Come on. I'll take you out on the town. I can be your wing man. [ He leant in, nosing against Ray's ear. ] We can tell people we're identical twins. It's everyone's secret fantasy, isn't it?